Skip to main content

Posts

YOU Are All the Things.

This summer has been the busiest one yet. I've been working 60-80 hours a week all while applying to business school and trying to be a normal human. This has been my first time to really think in about three months and the most pressing thought on my mind is that I am enough, and so are you.  I found out a few days ago that I was accepted into my program and I literally have no idea how I did it, but I did. I honestly don't know how I juggled psycho boys, school, work, sleep, church, exercise etc....BUT I did. I don't know if this clean Alaskan air is making me cooky or if I just realized something that is a "duh" for everyone else in their life, but it really smacked me in the face that I am kind of a bada**. I CAN DO HARD THINGS! Wait, really? I think its time that we all step back and realize that we are doing a lot better than we think we are because I'll let you in on a little secret, if someone tells you they have their crap together, they're ly
Recent posts

An Attitude of Gratitude

Holy moley. Time seriously flys, and I can't believe that Thanksgiving is here and the semester is almost over. I have been thinking a lot about my future lately and amidst all the uncertainty, I keep coming back to the simple fact that I am grateful. I am grateful for the opportunity that I have to go to college, to suceed in the subjects that I like, and to have a family that is very supportive of me. Earlier this week I got caught up in all the things that I DON'T have, and let me tell you, if you ever want to feel like trash, go ahead and do some comparing. It all started with some stress I had over a midterm and then it spiraled into me telling my mom that if I didn't get an A on this test I would never get into business school which would mean I would not have a good career and then I was never going to get married and yada yada whatever. Needless to say, I had the worst attitude ever for about three hours on Tuesday morning. Thankfully, I did very well on my te

A Reminder for Myself

I love to write because it is a way of getting the hurricane of thoughts in my head out. I think and think, and then think some more, but all this thinking never leads to a solution, usually just more confusion. I’ve concluded that I do this because I don’t want to project my feelings onto other people, and I don’t like feeling vulnerable: two very selfish things. I’ve also been hurt. And not the kind of hurt that goes away with a good workout and a fun girls night. The kind of hurt that literally breaks your heart; I’ve had days where I was ok with not doing a single thing ever again.  I spent the majority of 2018 learning to love myself, and loving being alone with my thoughts. I came to a point where I was comfortable with being vulnerable enough to really like someone again. Only to be absolutely steamrolled. What’s new? Fear of loving has a way of creeping up on you. You can spot it at first and you are hopeful enough to tell it to get lost. But then it gets sneaky, and s

Happy New Year!

I love the new year with all my heart. Watching the clock turn from 11:59 to 12:00 has become an almost spiritual experience for me, and I completely believe in leaving it all behind and starting fresh as soon as the clock strikes midnight. I was recently talking to a friend about how life is kind of like this little thing I learned in physics called the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. In a nutshell, the principle says that you cannot simultaneously know the position and momentum of something, instead, you either know one or the other. To visualize, imagine a huge map of the United States. On this map, you can see your little pinpoint on the map, but you do not know exactly how fast you are going--you only know your position. On the other hand, imagine the map zoomed way in on your location. You do not know your relation to big landmarks on the map, but you know how fast you are going--you know your momentum.  Now take the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, and think about it

6 Things I Learned in the Last 6 Months

Yes, I'm laughing at myself for writing this because it makes me feel all wise and important when in reality, I'm a 19-year-old-girl who still doesn't know how to make rice on the stovetop. BUT I think I have had my fair share of life-changing experiences recently, and I thought I would share what I have learned. Maybe you'll laugh at it, or maybe you'll learn a little something. 1. Thank Heavenly Father for the "no's." So this was the suckiest one to learn. As people we pray for a ton of things: rain, financial success, safety, help, educational inspiration; but we usually expect a direct answer or for Heavenly Father to be a fairy godmother and grant all of our wishes AND give us a makeover. NEWSFLASH: life doesn't work that way. I have learned the most important lessons in my life in the WAITING not in the recieving of blessings.  2. You never feel bad after serving someone.  I am a thinker. AKA when I'm bored I think about a

Life Changes, and I Wouldn't Change It for the World.

Here we go.... So many of you know that I was engaged at the beginning of the year. We planned on getting married in the summer, and I thought that my "happily ever after" was beginning. However, after only about a week of being engaged, I felt that something was seriously wrong, but I didn't know what it was. Maybe it was because I was so young? Maybe it was because things happened quickly? Maybe it was because I had never pictured myself getting married this soon? But none of these questions seemed to fit the unease that I had in my heart. I went to the temple seeking answers, I prayed constantly (not an over-exaggeration lol), and I talked with my church leaders and close family members about it. Yet I was still lost. I was emotionally drained, I couldn't focus in school, and I wanted to disappear. One day I was so lost that I skipped all my classes and drove home for the weekend without telling anyone. I felt physically sick at this point, and I knew that I n

Small and Simple Things

This semester in school I took a class about the Book of Mormon, the keystone scripture of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was so amazing to learn new things about my religion and to also become closer to Christ in the process. At the beginning of the semester, each student in the class designed their own project surrounding the Book of Mormon that would span over the whole semester. For my project, I decided to write down a couple things each day that happened during that day that reminded me of God or drew me closer to Him. At the beginning of my project, I found myself looking for grand events however, I soon found myself finding Heavenly Father in the little tiny things. I know without a doubt that Heavenly Father is real and that he loves me, along with all of His other precious children. I have come to love the little things, and through loving the little things I have learned to cherish the big blessings. God is so close to us, and if for any reason there i