Bridget Nistler

I love to write because it is a way of getting the hurricane of thoughts in my head out. I think and think, and then think some more, but all this thinking never leads to a solution, usually just more confusion. I’ve concluded that I do this because I don’t want to project my feelings onto other people, and I don’t like feeling vulnerable: two very selfish things. I’ve also been hurt. And not the kind of hurt that goes away with a good workout and a fun girls night. The kind of hurt that literally breaks your heart; I’ve had days where I was ok with not doing a single thing ever again.  I spent the majority of 2018 learning to love myself, and loving being alone with my thoughts. I came to a point where I was comfortable with being vulnerable enough to really like someone again. Only to be absolutely steamrolled. What’s new? Fear of loving has a way of creeping up on you. You can spot it at first and you are hopeful enough to tell it to get lost. But then it gets sneaky, and s