I love to write because it is a way of getting the hurricane of thoughts in my head out. I think and think, and then think some more, but all this thinking never leads to a solution, usually just more confusion. I’ve concluded that I do this because I don’t want to project my feelings onto other people, and I don’t like feeling vulnerable: two very selfish things. I’ve also been hurt. And not the kind of hurt that goes away with a good workout and a fun girls night. The kind of hurt that literally breaks your heart; I’ve had days where I was ok with not doing a single thing ever again. I spent the majority of 2018 learning to love myself, and loving being alone with my thoughts. I came to a point where I was comfortable with being vulnerable enough to really like someone again. Only to be absolutely steamrolled. What’s new? Fear of loving has a way of creeping up on you. You can spot it at first and you are hopeful enough to tell it to get lost. But then it gets sneaky, a...
The diary of a college girl.